,A  woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she  lay her pet on the table,
the vet pulled out his stethoscope and  listened to the bird's chest.


After a moment or two, the vet shook his  head sadly and said,  "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested.

"I mean, you haven't done any  testing on him
 or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room,

 and returned a  few moments later with a
 black Labrador Retriever.

as the duck's owner  looked on in amazement,

The dog stood on his hind legs, put his front  paws
on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top
to bottom.  He then looked at the vet with sad eyes

and shook his head.

The vet  patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a  beautiful cat. 
 The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed
delicately at the bird.  The cat sat back on its

haunches, shook its head, meowed softly
and  strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said,

 "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is 
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a

few keys and  produced a bill which
 he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in  shock, took the bill. "$150!",

 she cried, "$150 just to tell me my
duck  is  dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my

 word for it, the bill  would have been only $20,
 but what with the

Lab Report and the Cat  Scan...."

    <GIGGLES >