.

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg,

depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

When a man marries a woman, they become one;

but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so

busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

To many couples marry for better, or for worse,

but not for good.

If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a

thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.

On anniversaries, the wise husband always

forgets the past - but never the present.

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment

 only when the interest is kept up.

A foolish husband says to his wife,

 "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'.

 No wife of mine is gonna work."


 

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook,

 sew, and make beds and is in good health,

and he's already used to taking orders.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about

 your age and start bragging about it.
 

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me,

I want people to know "why" I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up or leaks.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth....

Remember about Algebra.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is

such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald,

 they don't recognize you.

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles now,

you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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